Reflections on Growth and Self-Discipline in Rob Henderson’s Troubled

Publication Information:
Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class
By Rob Henderson
Published by Gallery Books, February 2024

What Rob Henderson Read Growing Up

I recently read Troubled by Rob Henderson, a nonfiction account of his upbringing. I borrowed it from a public library here in Taiwan because none of the major bookstores carry it. Bookstore chains here are surprisingly slow to import new English-language nonfiction, particularly something as widely discussed as this.

This isn’t the first time it has happened either. The same thing occurred with Careless People by Sarah Churchwell. It arrived in local chain stores so slowly that no one bothered to pick up a copy by the time it finally appeared on the shelves. The prime-time sales window had already passed. If I had seen Troubled in a bookstore, I would have bought it instantly. Instead, I waited a few weeks for the library queue to bring me a copy.

That frustration aside, the book was worth the wait. Henderson’s life story is raw and compelling, but what stood out to me the most was his relationship with books: his time spent reading, wandering through school libraries, the kinds of books he read, the way he read, and his curiosity about identity and the world. In particular, the memoirs and biographies that helped him make sense of his own life resonated with me.

This post contains my notes on the books mentioned in Troubled. Some of the titles were familiar, though they are hard to find or borrow in Taiwan, which makes sense given that English is not the primary language here.

Books That Shaped Henderson’s Reading

On page 118, Henderson writes about reading Black Boy by Richard Wright and This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff. Both are memoirs of difficult childhoods. Other notable mentions include biographies of fighters such as Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, Jake LaMotta, and Rocky Marciano.

He recalls:
“I was also reading a lot of books during this time, and I was drawn mostly to memoirs by people who had lived tough lives. […] I found these books in the school library, which I’d browse alone before or after school. Whenever I felt down, it was soothing to read about others who had experienced hardship and found ways to rise above it. It seemed like whenever something good happened in my life, something bad was right around the corner. Then I’d read a few pages of a book and remember I was not alone. If, instead, I’d read stories (or scrolled images) of people living wonderful lives without any setbacks, it might have just led me to feel sorry for myself.”

What If Rob Henderson Had Grown Up Somewhere Else?

While reading Troubled, I kept wondering what Rob Henderson’s life might have looked like if he had grown up in a different environment. He was clearly curious and self-taught, spending time in libraries and learning through books.

If he had been raised in a city like New York or San Francisco, with well-educated parents and better schools, his talents might have been recognized earlier. He could have been guided into advanced classes, had access to tutors, and pursued more rigorous subjects from the start.

Reflecting on Henderson’s story underscores the significant role environment and opportunity play in nurturing or overlooking our talents. How many gifted, curious, and self-driven young learners are held back simply because their surroundings never gave them the chance to realize who they could become?

Self-Discipline Over Motivation

A passage on page 175 reinforced my belief in self-discipline:
“While military life was demanding, my efforts paid off. Many people say that to do something difficult and worthwhile, they need to be ‘motivated.’ Or that the reason they are not sticking to their goals is because they ‘lack motivation.’ But the military taught me that people don’t need motivation; they need self-discipline. Motivation is just a feeling. Self-discipline is: ‘I’m going to do this regardless of how I feel.’ Seldom do people relish doing something hard. Often, what divides successful from unsuccessful people is doing what you don’t feel motivated to do.”

I used to rely heavily on motivation as the driving force to learn a language, explore programming, or start creative projects. Henderson’s insight profoundly altered this mindset. Motivation is fleeting. Self-discipline provides a more reliable foundation. It’s not about waiting to feel inspired; it’s about showing up and doing the work anyway.

This shift prompted me to reflect more deeply on how goals are achieved in real life. I had understood the idea of self-discipline before; this book reinforced it in a way that stayed with me. Self-discipline means building a structure or routine that keeps you going, especially when motivation fades or becomes unreliable.

Take learning French, for example, which I have studied for several years. Progress hasn’t come from moments of inspiration or occasional motivation. It comes from a consistent schedule. I try to study or review for at least ten minutes every morning and ten minutes every evening, at roughly the same time each day. This steady routine often distinguishes those who are determined to stick to a schedule from those who give up halfway.

Final Thoughts

Reading Troubled recently reminded me of JD Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy, which I read earlier this year. Both authors recount strikingly similar experiences, including military service, academic challenges, and difficult, unstable upbringings. Henderson’s narrative is raw; readers may be more inclined to sympathize with him than with Vance.

Nevertheless, I found Vance’s prose more refined, clear, and concise, and I appreciated the conciseness of his work. That being said, I value Henderson’s insights, drawn from his academic background and expertise in psychology.

I’ll probably finish this book by the end of the week since others are waiting for it at the library. It’s really made me think about how I could build a more disciplined and structured daily routine to better reach the goals I care about. It also inspired me to write this blog post, which is always a good sign. When a book makes you want to think, write, and jot down ideas, you know it’s been a meaningful read.